First meeting with Reproductive Endocrynologist

My husband and I went this afternoon to meet with our first of two RE consultations. I don't think I was prepared for how overwhelming it would be, we had so much information thrown at us and this guy talked a mile a minute but was very nice. Being that we have gone thru 4 cycles already he wants to take a very aggressive approach which on one hand I agree with but on the other hand I'm a little nervous about the injectable medication and the side effects and cost involved. It's going to at least triple the cost vs going thru our past cycles with my OB/GYN.

I'm excited for our next consultation so that we can compare the two doctors and treatment paths and all of that. Looks like we will have to make a decision by August since we will be on vacation during my cycle in July.

can beggars still be choosers??

In one of my previous posts I think I mentioned about my husbands brother and his wife expecting a baby this summer and how they are less than prepared and able (financially) to have this child. My husband and I have bought a bunch of clothes for the baby and from the beginning planned on getting them the swing that they wanted as well as the matching bouncy seat. Being that we aren't made of money and want to get them as much stuff as possible to help ease their burden we talked about buying the swing gently used. They wanted a new one.... so today I was in our local secondhand baby store which sells REALLY nice stuff! Low and behold they had the swing... it was super clean, looks barely used (aside from the cloth looking like it had been run thru the wash) I could see any wear and tear anywhere else. So we bought it and are planning on giving it to them when the baby is born and we go visit (they do not live in our city). We haven't said anything about it being used, not sure if we will. I just think that it's a little ungrateful for them to want us to buy this big ticket item brand new and then not be able to buy them much else vs. getting is used and being able to get a few packs of diaper and formula too. Oh, and constantly being asked when we are going to buy it also seems pretty tacky to me.

plugging along

I think I have started to come to terms with having to take 2 months off from trying, I know my body as well as my mind probably need it and I haven't cried about it in a few days so that's always a good sign.

My husband is super stressed at work right now so I think that this break will be good for both of us. I'm also looking to vacation in about a month, also much needed.

I figured I would post a quick update and post a much more extensive one after we have our first appointment with the RE.

taking the next steps...

So after getting the news about my cyst on Tuesday my husband and I sat down and talked a lot and it was a great conversation. We decided that we wanted to get a second opinion on what our next steps should be.

My old boss had referred me to her fertility Dr. who's practice is supposed to be one of the best in the city... because of how highly she spoke of him I put him at the top of my list but it's interesting how things work out. I called his office yesterday and left a message about getting a consult, I didn't hear anything from them. I also emailed a couple of other practices who were supposed to be really good as well. As of this morning I still hadn't heard anything from my #1 pick so I called again and left another message... still nothing. One of the other practices (my #2 pick) called me earlier today and the lady was so nice, she answered all my questions and emailed me a book of paperwork to fill out. So when I got home after making the consultation appt with my #2 choice I got on the computer and started looking up reviews of both practices and wow, I think things just automatically work out the way they are supposed to... my #1 choice got some terrible reviews and I couldn't find more than 2 negative reviews about my 2nd choice. Needless to say I think at this point if my #1 place ever calls me back I will hold off on going there for a consultation.

My only concern going into this is how much more it's going to cost me vs. going to my OB/GYN who is really reasonable priced. I'm hoping it wont cost us a whole lot more, I guess we will find that out in a few days.

and the good news just keeps coming... NOT!!!

well, my cycle started yesterday so I went into the Dr. to get a follicle scan and formulate our game plan for this new cycle. During my scan they found a cyst on one of my ovaries which is large enough that they decided to cancel this cycle. We will also have to skip next month as well due to vacation, unless my body totally changes something and I start really early or late.

I'm having a really hard time remaining positive and just rolling with the punches. My husband and I had a really long talk last night and he reminded me that I need to keep the big picture in mind and not focus on the day to day stuff (easier said than done but I will try). We made the decision to go see a specialist instead of my OB/GYN who has been doing my inseminations, so I'm sitting here typing this and waiting for a call back to get my questions answered and hopefully get an appointment.

I feel like if nothing else I have learned a lot.

the roller coaster continues...

I called the Dr. today to let her know that I had gotten two negative pregnancy tests, one on Friday and one on Sunday (both were done AFTER the time they told me to wait to test). She told me it was too early to know and that I needed to wait a few days and test again! So after my meltdown this weekend there still might be a chance I'm pregnant? The pregnancy tests haven't been wrong before and I always test in the same window that I did this time around so I don't see why all of a sudden it's too soon. Anyway, I'm not getting my hopes up... I'm assuming the tests were right and if it turns out that the tests were wrong then fantastic but I'm not counting on it.

devastated.

I tested last night and I'm sure from the title you can guess the results. This was IUI #4 and the best cycle so far, in fact seemed like as close to a perfect cycle as we could get. My husband is still holding out hope that we tested to early (cd 13) and it was wrong, I admire his optimism but we have tested earlier each cycle previously (as early as cd 10) and the tests haven't been wrong so I'm having a hard time believing that this one could be anything but right.

I was so hopeful that this one would work, we used clomid, we triggered ovulation, I felt the signs of ovulating when we went in for the insemination, we had a completely painless and fantastic IUI... if this one didn't work then what's wrong! I want this so bad and it is getting harder and harder each cycle to not completely loose it when I see that negative test.

I just don't know what to do.

something is definitley different this time around.

I'm reaching the end of my tww and I feel really different than I have every other cycle. Typically I haven't felt anything out of the ordinary but this time, within the last day or two I have been getting tired a lot quicker than I typically do and over all I just feel different.

I'm hesitant to think that this means I may be pregnant since I have gotten my hopes up before and been crushed but I'm still holding out hope and getting nervous for Saturday when I test.