well, my cycle started yesterday so I went into the Dr. to get a follicle scan and formulate our game plan for this new cycle. During my scan they found a cyst on one of my ovaries which is large enough that they decided to cancel this cycle. We will also have to skip next month as well due to vacation, unless my body totally changes something and I start really early or late.
I'm having a really hard time remaining positive and just rolling with the punches. My husband and I had a really long talk last night and he reminded me that I need to keep the big picture in mind and not focus on the day to day stuff (easier said than done but I will try). We made the decision to go see a specialist instead of my OB/GYN who has been doing my inseminations, so I'm sitting here typing this and waiting for a call back to get my questions answered and hopefully get an appointment.
I feel like if nothing else I have learned a lot.
As one of your previous posts suggested, this process is one big roller coaster and it definitely teaches you a lot about yourself and your body. It's frustrating and although it is easier said than done, patience pays off in the end, no matter how it is you get pregnant. It took me a long time to learn this and really, truly accept it but once I did, it felt really good to not be so stressed and just roll with it. I know it's not helpful when people say "If it's not meant to be, it won't happen", but for me, coming to terms with that very thing helped me. I knew that if I was meant to get pregnant this way, it would happen. If it didn't happen, oh well...we'd move onto a different strategy. I assure you that as shitty as it is to have to cancel cycles and wait it out, you will get some time to discover your inner self (extremely important in this process) and find some peace. You will also be amazed at how good it feels to not have to worry about what CD you're on and what meds to take when, even though you hate that you're not doing an insem which sucks. Keep your chin up. If you ever need anything, you know where to find me. :)
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