My husband and I were out shopping today, hitting up some of the great Memorial day weekend sales. Some of the items that we needed to check off of our list were some baby clothes for my brother in law and his wife. That whole story deserves its own blog post but here is the jist of it..
My brother in law knocked up his girlfriend (now wife) after they had been dating for about a month, he is 23 she is 19 and is due in July. She doesn't work, although she should since they are struggling very hard financially and he works two jobs. She has a son from a previous relationship who basically lives with her grandparents because she says it's too hard to take care of him while she is pregnant. I love my brother in law, not very happy about his choice of wife but it is his choice, not ours.
So here is where my post's title comes into play... while we were out shopping for baby clothes I found myself not wanting to buy them things, especially stuff that I would want to buy for my baby (which I don't have yet) and when they talk about the baby I can't help but get bitter and jealous. So does it make me a bad person for not wanting them to be able to bring a life into this world when they clearly can't afford it and initially didn't want it? Does it make me a bad person for really only caring about the well being of the baby and that being the sole purpose of buying them things that they need? I don't know how to get over this negativity that I feel when I think about their situation... how they can go and get knocked up and be supported by my tax dollars but my husband and I have to spend a lot of time, money and sanity to try and make our dream of a family come true.
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